Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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