We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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