So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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