it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
