Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize