OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
tell me about the eggs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
