I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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