You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My vagina is officially offended.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
