I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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