it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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