That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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