Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up