the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
