wat bout pragnant strippers??
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
