I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
