Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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