At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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