She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
