You really coming over, don't trick.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
