THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
