Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize