so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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