All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
