mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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