Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
