I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
