Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sext me about skeletons
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
