I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
