your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
