Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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