Cold hands, warm shart.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize