Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She bit a glass in half.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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