If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
