You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
