what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
