I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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