Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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