It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
