He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
