Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I puked a lego.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
