Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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