I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize