then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize