When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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