the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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