I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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