normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
