Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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