There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
