Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
