I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
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On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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