How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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