My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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