I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
