I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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