My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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