isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
