My sheets look like a crime scene.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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